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His Deceased partner’s Picture is found on the Fireplace. Can I Ask Him to Remove it?

Reader Question:

I was unmarried for decades! I’m prepared to have a relationship once again, and that I’m not getting more youthful! You will find satisfied an excellent guy. We both being widowed for over six years. We set my personal photos away however my memories.

I am concerned because they have their spouse’s picture-hanging during the hearth, in which he requested me to accept that it won’t be eliminated. I’m sure he adored this lady, and that I would not ask him to reject it.

I don’t feel comfortable. In my opinion i’ll feel like i am the 3rd person. I don’t know how exactly to experience it. Am I able to get some good information right here?

–Alondra H. (Montana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

This actually is a sensitive concern and another that I have a lot. I want you to definitely reframe the concept of this photo. The lady above the fireplace isn’t their live, breathing girlfriend. She’s a symbol of the enjoying accessory this man has the ability to form.

He requires their obligations really really. This is an excellent thing! He may be also focused on the thoughts of adult youngsters whom might understand missing out on picture because their mother becoming changed.

Back when I became a development reporter, I did a profile on a resigned Air power colonel that has made the leap to Web business person. Their wife hosted all of our tv team at their home and when I inquired if she could give us an on-camera “soundbyte” about his home life, she really gracefully declined by discussing which they happened to be newlyweds so there was an other woman who’d stood behind that man for 28 years before she died of breast cancer.  This made the colonel offer this lady a huge embrace and believe that she appear with him on camera.

My guidance for your requirements: You should not consider his late partner as a menace. See her as an ally. Getting rid of an image will not remove his recollections, but it might drive a wedge in a budding connection with a commitment-oriented man.

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